Sexual Assault on College Campuses -Be Prepared Before You Go-

By Debbie Love

College is supposed to be the best years of your life. A time for making new friends, trying new things and adjusting to a new environment absent parental approval or judgment. For most freshmen, it’s their first time away from home, and while this new independence is empowering, it can also make you vulnerable. Rape is the most frequent violent crime on college campuses The Red Zone​. The most dangerous time for young female students begins the moment they set foot on campus for orientation until Thanksgiving break and is known as the “red zone.” It is during these first few weeks when the risk of rape is at its highest and young women are most vulnerable. Why? In general, women age 24 and under have the highest rates of rape. Now when you combine that with the Department of Justice’s estimate that one in five women will experience rape or attempted rape during their college years, the risk is amplified. At this time more than any other, these new students, most still in their late teens, need to be most vigilant. But, here’s the hitch ...

Fresh faced freshmen are easy to spot in their new surroundings. They are usually alone as they venture out for the first time without parents, friends or a social network on campus--and there are guys who are laser focused on these unsuspecting young women. A typical scenario of how these new students might end up in a bad situation: She’s wandering around campus for the first time when a guy she doesn’t know invites her to a party at his fraternity house. She’s stoked! When she arrives, the party is in full swing. She’s relieved to find the guy who invited her, who immediately hands her a drink in a red plastic cup. Having been warned about the ‘punch’ served in those cups, she knows to be careful. After a few sips she begins to relax a bit; a few more sips and she’s tipsy. She puts the cup down and is promptly handed another. In no time, she’s really buzzed and the room is spinning. Could she find her way back to the dorm? She wasn’t sure. There’s no one to call, no one waiting for her at home and nobody who even knows where she is. Seeing she’s wasted, the guy she barely knows may offer to walk her back to the dorm or suggest she sleep it off there at the frat house. -Both are bad ideas! The two critical mistakes a woman can make: (1) drinking too much alcohol and/or drugs, and (2) being isolated with someone she doesn’t know. Too much alcohol and isolation are two of the three factors that create the perfect storm for sexual assault. The scenario above is typical and shows how easy it is for a girl to find herself in a situation she didn’t expect and wasn’t prepared for. If he walks her home, she’s isolated and the alcohol will affect her ability to resist an assault; however, if she chooses to sleep it off there at the fraternity house, she would be susceptible to a whole lot worse. ​(See the Date Rape Triangle below). According to the National Institute of Justice, 10% of sexual assaults occur at fraternity houses where sexual assault is considered a game and gang rape a ritual for the “brothers.” This ritualistic scene describes “rape culture,” which is also common among college athletes. Rape culture not only encourages male sexual aggression, it supports violence against women, where women are blamed for their own assault and sexual violence is deemed normal and where rape is prevalent and even condoned. On campus, stranger rapes and assaults are rare. Most women are victimized by someone they know. A common misconception is that acquaintance rape is not serious or criminal, and certainly not as traumatic to the victim as stranger rape. Rape is a felony regardless of whether or not a relationship existed between the perpetrator and victim. It’s just as serious and devastating to the victim; however, convictions are extremely difficult when one party claims “it was consensual” and, it’s his word against hers. This is one of the reasons only a small percentage of sexual assaults are reported to law enforcement. Sexual assault is the only crime for which society tends to blame the victim. When filing a police report for most sexually based offenses, victims are usually met with indifference and skepticism which usually starts with a set of questions like: (1) How much did you drink? (2) Were you alone? (3) Why were you in this part of town? (4) Were drugs involved? (5) What were you wearing? (6) Did you consent? (7) Did anyone witness the assault? (8) Did you say no? (9) Did you scream for help? (10) Did you fight back? (11) Have you had contact since the assault? If any of the victim’s answers are vague, she may be blamed for being assaulted. Society often assigns victims too much blame for their assaults and offenders too little blame for their actions. ​How do we change the culture when those in power treat a perpetrator like a victim and the victim like a woman scorned who is exacting revenge by reporting a rape? Sexual assault is extremely uncomfortable to talk about. Most women stopped talking about it a long time ago. What’s the point? It's not just men who think perhaps she brought it on herself, many women tend to agree as does law enforcement. Women are so used to being embarrassed, humiliated or blamed for being assaulted, we are hesitant to say anything. ​

Better to pretend it didn’t happen than to have to convince someone that it did.​ For women, it’s just the way it is. How do I Protect My Child From Sexual Assault? F​ irst, do your homework. Familiarize yourself with your rights under Title IX and the statistics of the Clery Act. Have her take a self-defense class from an instructor who knows the dynamics of campus sexual assault and can tell her what to watch for and what to do. If the perpetrator is an acquaintance or friend, it can be tricky and confusing and alcohol is usually involved. (See the Date Rape Triangle below). Although the only true way to prevent rape is to stop the rapist from raping, here are some steps you can take to avoid or help prevent it from happening. Know your sexual limits and communicate them clearly.​

You have the right to say n​ o ​to any unwanted sexual contact. If you say ​no,​ say it like you mean it and back it up with your body language. Be clear where the line is that you don’t want crossed. Don’t give mixed messages. Most importantly, “N​ o”​ is not just a word, it’s a complete sentence. When you say n​ o​, he should stop immediately. Anytime ​NO i​ s ignored, it’s a red flag that he has no respect for you and it’s time for you to leave. Trust your intuition or “gut” feelings.​ If you start feeling that something isn’t right, even if you can’t put your finger on exactly what it is, or you feel uncomfortable or unsafe for any reason, don’t second guess it, don’t brush it off or wait for the moment to pass, act on what you feel and get yourself out of the situation as soon as possible. Call for help if necessary. Go to parties or clubs with friends you trust and agree to “look out” for one another.​ When going out with friends whether to a party, a bar or a club where there’s drinking or drugs, appoint a designated driver or sober person, one friend who will agree to stay sober and avoid drugs and who will look out for the others in the group. Everyone arrives together and leaves together. In the event no one wants to stay sober, the group should still agree to come and go together. Even if one friend wants to and swears she’s fine and will get home okay, do not leave her behind. Never leave anyone behind, period! Someone hovers or is constantly in your space.​ You know those people who stand too close, dance too close and invade your space making you feel uncomfortable? If for any reason you feel uncomfortable, trust that feeling and walk away. Your intuition is telling you there’s a problem. Protect your drink from being spiked.​ Beware! The use of date rate drugs is on the rise on campuses across the country with women being the most likely target. Drugs like r​ohypnol and GHB are most commonly used to facilitate sexual assault. While these drugs can be used in any drink, t​hey are often slipped into alcoholic drinks, which can exacerbate their effects.​ ​Drinks can be spiked wherever drinks are served such as n​ ightclubs, parties, pubs, restaurants and private homes. ​Date rape drugs are often odorless, colorless and tasteless, making them difficult to detect. This type of drug can make people weak, confused, or even unconscious. As a result, women are often unable to defend themselves against an attack; in some instances, they might not even know that an attack took place. Anyone can be the victim of an attack facilitated by a date rape drug. ​These drugs are inexpensive and easily concealed ​and even if you’re drinking water, good chance you won’t know you’ve been drugged until it’s too late. To protect your drink and yourself, place your hand over the glass with your fingers splayed around the rim thereby making it difficult to slip something through your fingers and into your drink without your knowledge. “Get involved” if you think someone might be in trouble.​ If you see that someone is about to be victimized, but is too out of it to know what’s happening and consent, or is perhaps too naive to know what lies ahead, help her. Do something to distract and interrupt what’s happening; some options may be to take her outside or into a bathroom and try to talk to her. Be an engaged bystander and stop the rape from occurring. Women must watch out for each other! ALL SEXUAL ASSAULT VICTIMS HAVE ONE THING IN COMMON, THEY NEVER THOUGHT IT WOULD HAPPEN TO THEM AND TOOK NO PRECAUTIONS OR GAVE ANY THOUGHT TO PROTECTING THEMSELVES.

THE DATE/RAPE TRIANGLE Consumption of alcohol/drugs to excess Isolation of victim to prevent escape The crime of sexual assault involves these 3 factors:

• ● Criminal Intent​: The intention of someone to assault you

• ● Alcohol/DrugConsumption:​ Drinking and/or taking drugs to excess

• ● Isolation:​ The ability of someone to isolate you and get you alone The critical thing you need to know and remember is that you control 2 of the 3 factors above. You control the amount of alcohol you drink or drugs you ingest and whether or not you allow yourself to become isolated and alone with someone. The one thing you cannot control is the criminal intent of the person you’re with. What you can do: Plan ahead--ask yourself these questions and run through the scenarios:

• ● If he did this, what would I do?

• ● If I was drunk, could I fight back?

• ● Could I get home if things go bad?

• ● Who would I call in an emergency?

• ● If I lost my phone, what would I do? The Effects and Dangers of Alcohol:​ First, your senses are dulled. When you’re out with someone new, you have to depend on your feelings. When you get a nagging feeling or your instincts tell you ‘watch out’, ‘there’s something not right here’ or ‘I think I’ve made a mistake!’. Alcohol diminishes those senses so you may brush off those apprehensions thinking your feelings are nonsense or, think to yourself, he’s a good guy from a good family, an upper classman, an honor student and I should be honored to be his choice, and then go along with whatever plans he may have. Confusion and Disorientation​: Let’s say, you’re taken to a party and don’t know anyone and don’t know your date well either, that’s confusing enough. Then throw alcohol into the mix and it could be disastrous. Alcohol slows down your reaction time and if an assault occurs when you’re drunk or high and in a strange place, it’s hard to process what’s happening to you. You feel trapped and may not know how to get out of there or get home. During an assault, you have two enemies, the attacker and the alcohol you’ve consumed. Escape:​ Your primary objective is to escape and if the opportunity presents itself, you’ve got to take it! While waiting for the opportunity, get prepared as best you can. If you’re in high heels, get them off; you can’t run in them. A tight skirt, get it above your knees. Run toward light and people if possible. If you find yourself in an isolated parking lot, crawl under a parked car, he can’t reach you.

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